The Adventures of Captain Abigail O’Brien
by annamagelic
Summary: Someone new comes to the 4077. Yeah I know what you're thinking but give it a chance. ;-)
1. He's a Girl!

****

Part 1: "He's a Girl"

"OK we're here, so what's the big announcement?" Asked Hawkeye, his normal sarcasm dulled somewhat by sleepiness

"And why did it have to be announced so early in the morning?" chimed in BJ, with a yawn.

"Oh would you too can it for once," said Margaret, as Major Winchester looked on smugly from the back of the room.

"Listen up people." Colonel Potter interrupted before his staff broke out into a brawl. "We are finally getting another surgeon, A Captain O'Brien. He will be moving into the swamp and I expect you to be on your best behavior." The last part was said with a pointed look at Hawkeye and BJ.

"Perhaps he may provide a civilized distraction from these cretins I am forced to reside with."

"When will the captain be arriving?" asked Margaret.

"Within the hour" responded Colonel Potter. The group nodded. "If there are no further questions you're all dismissed.

"Attention attention incoming surgeon!" boomed Radar's voice over the loudspeaker.

Most of the camp came outside to greet the newcomer. A jeep pulled into camp driven by a young private with a women in the passenger seat. The woman scanned the crowd then walked over to the Colonel. "Good morning sir, you must be Col Potter; I'm Dr. Abigail O'Brien."

The Colonel tried to control his surprise. "Welcome Captain, Ahh why don't you come with me to my office." 

"Yes sir"

"Notice something strange about him Beej?"

"You mean like _he's_. a girl?"

"A rather attractive girl in fact." said Hawkeye with a characteristic twinkle in his eye.

"Have a seat Captain." Captain potter said as he sat behind his own desk.

"Yes sir," she said taking the seat opposite him.

"Well Captain, you've taken us a bit by surprise."

"I don't understand."

"You see we were told to expect a new surgeon. A Captain O'Brien, but not your first name."

"I see sir, so you assumed I was a man."

"Quite frankly yes, we did, I'm sorry Captain."

"It's quite all right sir, I hope this doesn't cause any problems."

"Well the only thing I can think is your sleeping arrangements, as we were planning to thrown you in the swamp with the other surgeons. Oh don't worry," Potter said noting her confused expression, "It's what they've named their tent, rather aptly too I'm afraid. Anyway you certainly can't live there. Radar!" he shouted, and the corporal appeared instantly.

"Yes sir"

"Where can we find a bunk for Captain O'Brien here? The swamp certainly won't due." 

"Yes sir, I mean No sir, of course not sir. I'm not sure sir. We're rather crowed here what with the incident at the 5034."

Colonel Potter turned to Cap. O'Brien to explain, "Another MASH was shelled last week, we have a few of their patients as well as some of their personnel staying with us at the moment." Turning back to Radar he continued, "The nurses' tent is full I take it?"

"Yes sir, they already have two extra nurses staying with them."

"What about Major Houlihan?" 

"She has wounded nurses staying with her."

"The VIP tent."

"Full of visiting surgeons"

"Well Radar, what tents aren't stuffed to capacity with people?"

"Well ah, yours sir, the swamp, the mess, the showers, and the supply tent, I think that' s all sir."

"I don't want to be of any trouble sir." Dr O'Brien piped in.

"Nonsense!" Colonel Potter replied. "Finding you a room is a very minor unconvinced compared with how grateful we are to having another surgeon around."

"Thank you sir. What about the supply tent?"

"What about it?"

"The corporal mentioned it as one of the places with space, would there be room to tuck an extra bed in a corner someplace?"

"Radar?"

"Yes sir, I think that could be arranged."

"Well I don't particularly like putting my new surgeon in the supply tent like a spare box of sutures, but suppose it will have to do for now. Radar, go ahead and get some furniture in there for her, and have her belongings brought in."

"Yes sir" said Radar and left the room.

"As for you Captain O'Brien would you like to join me in the mess for a cup of what passes for coffee around here?"

"Thank you sir, that sounds nice."

The two entered the mess and sat down at a table with their coffee. Abby looked up and nearly choked on her coffee. Approaching them was a man wearing high heals, a pink dress, a feather boa, and hoop earrings. 

"Excuse me Colonel, but General Montgomery is on the phone for you sir."

"Thank you Klinger, if you'll excuse me Captain I'm afraid duty calls."

"Of course sir."

With that Colonel Potter went off with the cross-dresser apparently named Klinger leaving Abby alone with her thoughts. This was certainly turning out to be an interesting day. Showing up at a camp that expected her to be a man, being assigned quarters in the supply tent, and meeting a man who dressed like a woman. An interesting place indeed. At least the CO seemed like a decent man. He was surprised when he discovered his new surgeon was a woman but he hadn't seemed angry or condescending. Hopefully the rest of the camp would be as open to a female surgeon. The last place she'd been stationed certainly wasn't. The CO had been condescending, her fellow surgeons insisted on treating her like another nurse, and the nurses were spiteful. At least living in the supply tent she wouldn't be subjected to roommates who hated her. Abby really hoped she could find a place to fit in here. Finishing her coffee she got up to leave. As she stepped out the door she bumped into a familiar face. "Ah, Corporal Radar isn't it?"

"Just Radar Ma'am" 

"All right Radar, I was wondering if you could show me to my tent?"

"Actually Captain O'Brien, Colonel Potter asked me to give you a full tour around camp, if that's all right with you Ma'am."

"That sounds lovely Radar, but would you do me a favor."

"Of course Ma'am, what is it?"

"Would you stop calling me Captain and Ma'am?"

"What do you want to be called Ma'am? Oops, sorry Captain, I mean"

"It's ok Radar," Abby interrupted him, "Abby will be fine, or if you must give me a title," she said noting Radar's expression, "Call me Dr. O'Brien."

"All right Dr. O'Brien."

"Thank you, when people call me Captain it just doesn't feel like they're talking to me."

Radar gave Abby a full tour of the camp ending with the supply tent. "Here we are Dr., the supply tent; I mean your new home here at 4077."

"Thank you very much Radar," she said, giving him a warm smile. Abbey looked at her door and grinned. Underneath the old sign reading supply tent was a new hand written sign reading Captain Abigail O'Brien MD.

"We wanted people to remember it's someone's room now and they can't just go barging in all the time. We found a bed, a bedside table with a lamp, and a footlocker for you stuff. I hope everything is OK. Oh and your belongings should be sitting on you bed."

"Thank you Radar, it looks lovely."

"If there's anything else you need let me know. Oh and lunch should be in the mess in about an hour.

"OK"

"I guess I'll see you later Dr. O'Brien."

****


	2. Girl Talk

****

Part 2 : Girl Talk

Abby spent the next hour settling into her new home. It actually was kind of cozy. When she finished unpacking she glanced at her watch and noticed it was time for lunch. She quickly ran a brush through her hair, and dabbed on some pale lipstick. No harm in making a good first impression she thought. As she walked into the mess it suddenly grew very quiet and she felt all eyes staring at her. Abby had the sudden urge to turn around and bolt right back out of there, but instead she held her head a little higher and walked over to the food line. With her tray filled with the most edible thing she could find she turned back toward the tables and looked for a place to sit. She found an empty table near the wall and sat down. She blinked back tears as she picked up her fork and started to eat. "This is ridiculous," she thought to herself, "I feel like I'm back at the first day of Jr. High and nobody wants to sit with me in the lunchroom."

Margaret was sitting a few tables away with Hawkeye, BJ, and Major Winchester. She saw the new woman sit down by herself and recognized the look of pride, hurt, and loneliness that she had seen so often in the mirror. Margaret excused herself and walked over to Abby's table. "May I sit down?"

Abby was startled slightly having been lost in her own thoughts, "Oh of course, have a seat."

"Hi I'm Margaret Houlihan, I'm head nurse here," she said extending her hand across the table.

"Abby O'Brien, surgeon, and sideshow freak."

"Don't let them get to you, they'll come around soon enough."

"I hope so, but I'm not going to hold my breath."

"Well I'm certainly glad you're here. Believe me I know what it's like to be the misfit."

"What do you mean, you're a nurse."

"Head nurse," Margaret corrected, "It's hard to go from barking orders to girl talk. Frankly I think they're all a little scared of me. As for the guys, well, you know what it's like to be a woman in a man's world."

"Hmm, I suppose you do understand. I certainly hope we can be friends."

"Of course, I'd like nothing more. Unfortunately I have a meeting with my nurses in a few minutes so I have to run. I hope we'll get to talk again soon."

"Feel free to stop by the supply tent for girl talk any time."

"Oh I certainly will, goodbye." Both women smiled and waved as Margaret hurried off. 

Abby finished her lunch quietly, but in a much better frame of mind. Just as she was about o stand up to leave an alarm come over the PA system followed by Radar's voice. "Incoming wounded" he announced "ETA 10 minutes" suddenly the camp was a flurry of activity. Everyone seemed to be scurrying in a different direction. 

"Well, I suppose I better get to the OR, I am a surgeon after all." Pre-Op looked much different then it had on her tour earlier that day, with all the people and activity. She stood just inside the doorway for a few moments not entirely sure were to go. A man in surgical scrubs walked up to her. "What the hell are you doing?" he shouted.

Abby was indignant, how dare he imply she didn't belong in the OR, "I'm a surgeon, I'm here to operate."

"Which is why you should be scrubbing in, not blocking our doorway! Now move it."

Abby's face burned as she hurried off to change into scrubs. She felt like such an idiot "Great first impression I just made on whoever he is. I'm here to show them I'm a competent surgeon and I act like a ditsy schoolgirl." She had no further time for self-recrimination as the first of the wounded had started to arrive. 

One of Abby's patients almost didn't make it, but she worked quickly and managed to save him. The doctor who had yelled at her earlier, who the others called Hawkeye, said, as she successfully closed, "You know you're pretty good for a girl." She could tell it was a real compliment.

"Better than you boy's probably." Col. Potter chimed in.

Abby beamed behind her surgical mask, but her celebration was short lived as another wounded solider was brought in and placed on her operating table. After nearly ten hours in surgery their last patient was sent to post-op and the weary doctors and nurses pealed off their bloody scrubs. Abby wasn't sure where the other's were headed, nor did she really care, all she wanted to do was go back to her little corner of the supply tent and collapse. She changed into her pajamas and laid down on her bed, reaching for her journal. Before she could start to write she heard knock on the door. She called "Come in," assuming it was someone coming to restock supplies. Instead she turned her head and saw Major Houlihan. "Margaret!" she smiled.

"That offer for girl talk still open."

"Of course," said Abby as she sat up, and scooted over to make room for Margaret to sit down.

"I come bearing food."

"Ooh what's that I smell?"

"Hot chocolate," she said holding up the thermos she was carrying, "And peanut butter sandwiches." She poured the hot chocolate into the two cups she produced out of a small bag along with the two sandwiches. "I figured you wouldn't have eaten, and after a first day like today you might want someone to talk to."

"Mmmm," Abby said as she sipped her hot chocolate, "You know I didn't even realize I was hungry until I smelled this."

"It's good isn't it?"

"Somehow chocolate always makes everything better doesn't it?"

The two women talked and laughed as the nibbled their sandwiches and sipped hot chocolate. Margaret filled Abby in on all the news of the 4077. Hawkeye was walking back to the swamp when he heard the women's laughter coming from the supply tent, and came a little closer to investigate. "Is that Margaret giggling with our new surgeon? Since when does Margaret giggle?" Then he heard something even more interesting. 

"The thing you must remember about Hawkeye," said Margaret, "Is never let him know you think he's charming."

"Is he charming?"

"Oh he has his moments, he also can be irritating as hell, and often both at the same time." With that both women laughed.

"So Margaret thinks I'm charming," Hawkeye said to himself with a grin, "I knew she wasn't immune."

Inside the tent Margaret stood up and stretched, "As fun as this has been, I think it's time to go to bed." 

Abby tried to respond, but instead she yawned. The both laughed again. "Hmm, yes I think you're right." replied Abby eventually, "We must do this again sometimes."

"Definitely," said Margaret, "Goodnight Abby."

"Goodnight Margaret."

Outside Hawkeye hurried off toward the swamp so that Margaret wouldn't catch him eavesdropping.


End file.
